Guest Post: Breast Versus Formula: Whose Fight Is It Anyway?

Today’s guest post is from MamaBeanParenting. Recently she posted a blog post about a sign she spotted hanging outside a cafe that she thought was cool – and it went viral and sparked a huge online debate about breastfeeding in public. Here she writes about THAT cafe sign and its response.

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Not for the first time, I‘ve found myself at the centre of a media breastfeeding storm.  The catalyst this time?  The following sign…

breastfeeding welcome

This sign stands outside of a café in Cheltenham, England and after the picture and my corresponding post went viral earlier this week, there has been quite a reaction.

There’s been a lot of this:

Amazing!”

So refreshing!”

What a step forward!”

And of course, there’s also been a fair amount of this:

But what about formula feeders?”

And so it begins.  Or should I say continues?  The all-out Breast versus Formula war.  The ‘Pick A Side And Slam The Other’ debate.  The ‘Us versus Them’ mentality.

Enough.  Enough, already!

A café opening its arms to a breastfeeding mother is not by default closes doors to formula feeders.  Or anybody else outside of this specific group for that matter; like fathers, or grandmothers, or nurses just finishing a night shift…or even young couples high on Honeymooning and totally unaware of the minefield of political correctness that embeds itself into the world of parenting…

breast is best

Because supporting breastfeeding does not go hand-in-hand with hating formula feeding.  It is in itself, a perfectly legitimate position to take; an independent cause to fight.

And by fight, I do not mean against you, kind formula feeding mama; you who sings lullabies to delicate and tiny ears, who kisses squidgy baby cheeks and who also, just like me, has broken up with Sleep.

By fight, I mean fight with you, sweet mama.

Because formula feeding mothers can also fight the fight to normalise breastfeeding.  The fight against shaming, against discrimination and against the over-sexualisation of our maternal bodies.

bottle is best

And believe it or not, breastfeeding-supporting formula feeders do actually exist.  In real life.  The proof?  The picture that sparked these comments was taken by a formula feeding mother.  Yes, you read that right.  She took it not to share on a hate site or to agonise over the unfairness and selectivity of free cups of tea.  Instead, she took it to share the joy, the acceptance and the progress of the drive to normalise nursing in public.

Unfortunately, this drive is still needed.  Every day I see stories online of mothers asked to cover up when their little ones start to root.  I can still see the disgust in strangers eyes from my own nursing in public adventures…but gone are the days where I would hide away to nurse my daughter…I found my confidence and somehow, quite unexpectedly, I’ve turned it into a voice.

And so it seems that this voice is getting louder, and with more than 328,000 ‘likes’ against my latest piece for The Huffington Post, it’s actually being listened to.  But just because I’m shouting ‘boob’ from my virtual platform and have the ‘equipment’ to cash in on free hot drinks from one enlightened English café, doesn’t mean that I’m cursing formula feeding in the same breath.

And so I’m not going to get into the ‘I bet they have bottle-warming facilities’ argument, or the ‘but you don’t begrudge students their discounts’ mindset.  I’m only going to say one thing: thank you.

To every supporter of breastfeeding – whether you are lactating or not – I say thank you.  Thank you for seeing this café’s sign as the positive step forwards that it is.  Thank you for seeing it as a simple gesture of support for nursing in public and not a low-blow at tired and thirsty formula feeding mothers.  Thank you for seeing it as a small but important step towards normalising the normal; towards normalising breastfeeding.

Author Bio:

Mama Bean writes to celebrate the realities of motherhood and if you haven’t already guessed it, she’s determined to normalise breastfeeding.  You can find her at www.MamaBeanParenting.com and follow her on Facebook and Twitter.

 

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3 Responses to Guest Post: Breast Versus Formula: Whose Fight Is It Anyway?

  1. Hear hear. Wonderful to see. We’re quite enlightened down in Brighton so it wasn’t too much of an issue for me when I was breastfeeding.Perhaps I just chose carefully – but at least I was blessed with a choice. Good for you for helping bring that to other women and good for this cafe. I’d frequent it now just for displaying the sign!

  2. Ange says:

    I bottle fed my oldest son and am in two minds as to what will be best for my second. I have no problem with those who choose to breastfeed and, let’s face it, that is what boobs are for! So to call these women a disgrace who wish to breastfeed their babies whilst out and about is outrageous. So to find a cafe such as this is absolutely marvellous! I just wish health professionals and some (not all) Breastfeeding mothers didn’t demonise those of us who choose/chose (for whatever reason – and to be fair some mothers have no choice, it is their only option) to bottle feed! They spout that breast milk is the wonder stuff. Some of it is true, but at the same time some of the claims about breast milk properties is utter crap. At the end of the day my 12 year old former bottle fed son is a happy, disgustingly healthy, well adjusted boy!

  3. Charlotte says:

    My husband made a valid point when we saw this picture “What about dads who need to feed their babies too?!”, he does make a good point. While I support the sign and everything it stands for, it (probably totally unintentionally) alienates bottle-feeding mums, in a “here’s a prize for breast feeding” kind of way. I breastfed both of mine for a while and I just didn’t work out for us for one reason or another, so as someone who has been in both positions, I can definitely see both sides of the argument.

    The bottom line for me is the total inability to support mothers of all types from all those the slam both breast and bottle feeding. Why do we have to pick a side? Why cant we just support each other in whatever choices we make regardless of what we chose for our own children?!

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