Blog of the Week: Beat the Babysitter

Blog_of_the_week_badgeEvery week Netmums trawls your posts for something that jumps out at us – which is exactly what this post from Complicated Gorgeousness did.

Parents everywhere who have at one time or another tried to escape for a night alone will recognise this game!

So can you Beat the Babysitter?

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Roll up, roll up –  who wants to play a game of – Beat the Babysitter!?

The whizz-hoppy fabby-dabby new game that pushes you to the limits of your ability. Fun for all the family. The rewards include alcoholic beverages.

Players: Minimum of three (parent, child, babysitter)
Age range: All
How to win: Children take on parents in this battle of deception and cunning. Parents only win if they get to the pub/party/restaurant without the children ever knowing that there was a babysitter in the house (whether it be Granny, Auntie Sue or Molly from up the road).

The aim of the game

  1. To get the children in bed and asleep without them realising you are going out
  2. To get to your destination looking like you are going out for the evening rather than putting a bit of lippy on and hoping you’ll do
  3. To get to your destination without throwing your wedding ring (or a shoe) at your husband
  4. To get to your destination before you have sworn at your nearest and dearest 746 times
  5. To get out the door and far away before your nocturnal children wake up and start annoying the babysitter
  6. To provide enough bribery in the form of posh crisps and chocolate so the babysitter doesn’t decide she’d rather stick pins in her eyeballs than watch over your offspring again.

The rules

  • You need to be somewhere at a certain time so you can’t just wait for the children to fall asleep au natural and then text the babysitter with a coded message saying all systems are GO GO GO!
  • You need to look like a fox (aka someone who has washed their hair and ironed their clothes)
  • You need to look foxy without any children seeing you attempt to do any fox-ish preparation
  • You need to tidy up for the babysitter as even teenage babysitters don’t like looking at discarded nappy sacks and sitting on rice cake crumbs
  • You need to have snacks in for the babysitter (without the children realising that they are snacks for a babysitter)
  • The babysitter MUST NOT be seen by any of the children


Extra points

  • Gain an extra point if you squeeze in a serene bedtime story
  • Gain an extra two points if you manage to paint both sets of nails
  • Gain an extra five points if you pluck your eyebrows
  • Gain an extra ten points if you sneak in a small glass of wine whilst getting ready
  • Gain an extra hundred points if you have applied fake tan during the day
  • Gain an extra thousand points if you and your partner are still speaking

Forfeit cards

  • If you don’t follow the usual routine to the letter – even a baby can sniff a change of plan
  • If you dress too early and someone under seven asks why are you glammed up to watch TV with daddy
  • If you forget any essential birthday/anniversary presents that you need for the event
  • If you leave behind your purse/wallet in the chaos of getting out

Instant lose

  • If the babysitter calls because some random child (you are trying to disown them) won’t re-settle or has been sick
  • If children are clinging to your legs as babysitter arrives pleading with you not to go out
  • If in your rush your fake fan (it wasn’t worth the points) smudges around your face making you look like someone flicked you in the face with brown paint
  • You didn’t check your outfit still fits from your last night out six months ago – wailing at the top of your voice with your entire wardrobe discarded on the floor will wake up the children leading to point two

Essential rule: once that front door is shut the babysitter is in charge so if you hear the baby cry as you walk down the path you don’t need to go back – run, Run, RUN!!! 

 

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