Blog of the Week – Motherexia

A report out this week from 4Children revealed that thousands of mums with postnatal depression are suffering in silence as they are too scared to seek help.  In light of this we chose this very powerful blog for our Blog of the Week.  It’s from a new blogger who writes anonymously as ‘Mum’s Honests Truth…‘ chronicling her journey with PND since the birth of her child 18 months ago. Thanks to Annie from LoveNewBlogs who helped pick this one out for us.

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Motherexia

PND – Many mums suffer in silence – (photo posed by a model)

I don’t deserve my child. I am a total, utter waste of space. My son’s not eating or sleeping because I’m doing something wrong. He cries because I don’t know how to comfort him. Everyone knows I’m a crap mum, they’re just too afraid to tell me. Anyone could do a better job than I’m doing. My son would be better off without me. I’m not fit to be a mother.

This delightful set of thoughts has popped in uninvited to see me more times than I care to remember over the past 18 months. If I’m feeling vulnerable, I let them sit down and make them a cup of tea, ask them to tell me more. If I’m feeling stronger, I’m able to make an excuse and scarper before they have a chance to put a foot in the door. You see, now that I’m getting a bit more sleep and the fog of hormones has cleared, I’ve recognised that I suffer from Motherexia – a syndrome which makes you view yourself and your mothering skills in an entirely unrealistic light. Like her evil cousin Anor, Mother Exia revels in distorting what we see when we look in the mirror. Mother Exia, though, enjoys not only messing with how we see ourselves physically, but also how we regard every aspect of our personalities. BUT.. Ahaaaaa,  Mrs Exia, the game is up! I have discovered your weak spot, the chink in your armour – the simple, powerful reality that thoughts are not facts.

Thinking something is true doesn’t mean that it actually IS. If a friend you wave to across the street doesn’t wave back, is this because they didn’t see you or because they’ve decided they hate your guts? It’s all a matter of interpretation. Just because we decide they’ve spontaneously deemed us unworthy of a wave doesn’t mean that they aren’t actually just absorbed in figuring out how to get Johnny Depp to fall in love with them (I WILL find a way). Just because we think we’re a terrible mother doesn’t mean we are one. I know this may all sound a bit obvious, but realising that your thoughts are not facts can be more than a bit handy for we insecure mums and those with PND.

Deep down, I know that no one can care for my son better than I can. I reckon Mother Exia’s days are numbered around here. And now I’m off to gulp down a Mars Bar and a couple of cupcakes just to p*ss her cousin off as well. 

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If you, or someone you know, is suffering from Depression & Anxiety or PND please take a look at the support over on Netmums. We also have trained supporters on hand in the Netmums coffeehouse in our Drop In Clinic who can answer questions and offer help as well as links to local support and advice services. Right now there is also an online course available to provide you with valuable help and support.  Find out more and how to sign up for the course here.

About The Netmums Blog

The Netmums Blog brings you a behind the scenes look at Netmums, as well as some fabulous guest bloggers and an up to date look at what's new on our Parent Bloggers Network.
This entry was posted in Blog of the Week, bloggers, post natal depression, Real Parenting, Therapy and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Blog of the Week – Motherexia

  1. Teri says:

    Wow what a funny yet sincere well written piece.

  2. kimberly says:

    This piece should be in baby books, posters and handed out by all HV on that first visit. Its something all mums can relate to, it made me smile and its true. I Loved it

  3. Claire says:

    brilliant – should be a recommended read for all mums!

  4. Gosh! Thank you, NetMums and thank you again, Annie from Love New Blogs. Yayyy!
    Thanks too for all the encouraging comments – you’ve inspired me to keep writing.

    Brilliant to see PND/PNI getting some media attention recently.

    I may have to scoff another Mars Bar in celebration (as well as these raisins I’ve just found squished into the sole of my slipper).

    X

  5. I think all new mums feel they are a failure – great piece !

  6. Aimee says:

    Suffered with PND with my first – 4 and half years later im trying to keep positive with my 4 month old …. can def relate to this xx

  7. gail says:

    i have just come off citalopram and feel so happy that i am not alone other people are the same

  8. Jo says:

    Awesome – you just wrote the words that have been in my head for the last 4 years. Thoughts are not reality. Love it. Up yours Mother Exia :o) Hope you’ve kicked her out. She doesnt sound like a nice house guest.

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